You know for me the first kiss is almost a make or break moment...if he doesn't wow me with it then...sorry but moving on. Does that sound cold? I don't think so, that first kiss can tell you a lot about yourself, your partner and any potential relationship. I mean it's about more than the technique, a kiss is one of the most intimate forms of communication humans have. We use it to express so many emotions... it can be about affection, warmth and caring....it can be about passion, lust and sex....it can be compassionate, comforting and soothing....
For me kissing is a very intimate act, in some ways more so than sex. Because at least in my view you can have sex without any connection other that tab A and Slot B fitting together. Hell you can have sex with someone you don't even like....but a kiss...that's something altogether different. It's how we say "I love you" we express our love to our children, parents, friends and partners with kisses that say those 3 little words. You can say everything to your partner without saying a word with a kiss.
I mentioned last time about my friend who was ...well....Kiss Challenged and I've thought about it a lot and you know I think many of us are. We get so caught up in our lives and in what we believe a kiss should be that we forget to experience the kiss. Do I have bad breath? Is it too much or too little tongue? What about spit? Do I tilt my head or what... Should I take my glasses off? By the time you get through the answers it's over....
So how important is kissing in a relationship? Only about as important as the mortgage or whether we put the cap on the toothpaste... As a society we focus on sexual intercourse as the all important and you know really it's just the final act in a private performance.
So let's talk about performance...
What makes a good kisser?
I did a little research and here's what I came up with...
A kiss starts long before 2 mouths meet....
it starts with the eyes the silent communication this is where you show your intention and interest... where you connect with them and let them know what's on your mind.
Build up to the kiss.... soft intimate touches (and no I don't mean make a dash south of her border) the lightest stroke of your fingers across her cheek, a hand drifting over the back and shoulders... I know right you are thinking WTH? A kiss is lips on lips... but a truly good kisser knows that it's a whole body moment... how you touch them with your eyes, your hands .... your body.... all contributes to whether it's a mediocre kiss or one that leaves them breathless and aching. Use your lips and mouth to your advantage... change up your kiss.. go soft and sweet... nibble or suck their lips....But keep in mind tongue is very important and very personal the whole too much.... too little... when do I use it... do I suck it or stroke it? what about teeth? All important matters of style and technique and I've done the reading best answer I can come up with is practice makes perfect and trial and error is the way you learn.
And don't forget that the mouth isn't the only kissable part of your partner.... explore... kiss on the neck....nibble the ear.... you don't have to always do the missionary kiss...be creative...get to know your partner...find out what makes them melt...and what makes you quiver..
finally the kiss..... BE THERE don't think about your grocery list, or the files on your desk...don't think Am I Doing This Right? Just be there for the experience for the moment..
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