It's My Choice, Not Yours....

So I decided to address a fairly controversial topic today, I want to discuss alternative lifestyles.  There are many far more than I am covering but mostly I just want to give some examples while discussing what it means and the context in which society judges people for being “abnormal”.  By definition an alternative lifestyle is said to be a mode of living or doing something in a way that is not within the accepted norms or values. In a sexual context it’s having sex or participating in sexual behaviour that is outside social norms and quite often labelled deviant or sinful.  Its attitudes and the narrow minded crap like this that I just can’t stand.  Sex is normal, healthy and whatever floats your boat; well so long as it’s not breaking the law (in a harmful way) then have fun and just be true to yourself. 
So what are some types of alternative lifestyles?  Well like I said the list of alternative living is long and varied I don’t think I have enough blog space to cover them all.  So I picked a few that most people have at least heard of. 
Some activities considered adult alternative lifestyles include:
1. BDSM: This stands for Bondage and Discipline (B&D), Domination and Submission (D&S), and Sado-Masochism (S&M). As the definition suggests, BDSM involves bondage, that is restraining or being restrained, domination as well as submission, Sadism (taking pleasure in inflicting pain on another person) and masochism (taking pleasure in being subjected to a certain degree of pain).
2. Swinging: This can be defined as a form of recreational social and sexual activity between consenting adults whereby partner swapping is acceptable. Swinging is also referred to as "wife swapping", but this definition is inaccurate as it narrows down the activity and makes it look like a male domain. "Partner swapping" may be a simpler but more accurate description.
3. Sexual Fetishism: The arousal and/or gratification through some object, or non-genital part of the body. Such object or body part is referred to as the fetish. Fetishes include but are not limited to shoes (boots or high-hills), feet or digits of the foot, hair, underclothes or lingerie, body piercing, clothing (size, garment-type or size), stockings, etc.
4. Polyamory: This is the practice of having more than one intimate relationship at a time, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. In polyamory there is no partner swapping, as opposed to swinging where swapping is the norm. Polyamorous relationships are usually serious and long term.
What drives people to pursue alternative sexual behaviour and lifestyles?  Well to be perfectly honest the list of reasons is probably long and as varied as you can imagine, the reasons are also very personal.  Many people just want to explore and expand their experience, some are seeking fulfillment they aren’t receiving within “normal” parameters, it is fun and healthy… There is nothing wrong or deviant about any of these choices.  Now for anyone who is conservative or these choices don’t fit within your standards of acceptable behaviour, that’s cool and no one says you have to accept or participate in anything that goes against your belief systems.  However, just because it isn’t what you think is ok, does not give you the right to judge or condemn anyone who chooses a path that does not fit your constructed paradigm of acceptable behaviour. 
I’m not trying to rant or stand on a soap box and preach, but I do want to be clear that intolerance is wrong and judging others because they don’t fit your yardstick of acceptability does not make them any less of a person or undeserving of open respect and understanding than you are. 
Now you may have noticed that in the alternative lifestyle examples I did not address the GLBTQ people (for those of you who may not know what that is…. Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgendered/Queer) for 1 simple reason, I don’t consider any of those to be a lifestyle choice or alternative.  Just like heterosexuals, GLBTQ are people, it’s not a lifestyle choice, and it’s a part of them.  I am not going to even debate the religious or societal stereotypes, because frankly I could careless what any religion says about it.  A religion that actively teaches and enables the practice of judgmental intolerance is wrong and undeserving of any acknowledgment. 
Not that I personally can truly understand what it is to be discriminated for my sexual orientation, but I have been judged for my lifestyle choices, for not marrying, for having children (although if you ask my mother, I’m not really a sinner for having children out of wedlock because I adopted and didn’t give birth), for not spending my life chasing the perfect man to complete me.  I guess by social standards that makes me an old maid with an attitude and not a whole woman because I have no husband.  Now not everyone judges me this way, but it has been a common enough experience to have impacted my worldview.  People are people… it doesn’t matter who, how, why, where you do what you do…. It doesn’t change the fact that we are all equals and no one has the right to make you feel less than for being true to yourself.